Letter to R

 Hey R,

How are you doing right now? Wherever you are, I hope you are doing just fine.

Dear R, many things had happened after you've gone. From nobody to somebody, enemies become friends, friends become strangers. Many people we never expected comes to my life and changes me. Some of them knew you so well, since you were close to each other. I don't know how things going on between you guys. I wouldn't care.

Couldn't say new life is better. But it changes, for sure. It's neither bad nor good. I suppose it's a neutral change. Got a job after graduate. The thing I avoided the most become a source to gather some money for whatever-thing-I-should-face in the future. I miss studying. Things were lot simpler that way. I don't have to be responsible toward anybody. I don't owe them anything. You were right. Responsibility is hard to take and running away from it is a lot easier. Maybe that's why you ran away from me and didn't try to give me any sign. Because it is scary.

R, in my ups and downs I did think about my past deeds. Mostly the bad one and the sad one. People who have left me. People who cared for me. People who claimed that they loved me. I miss them, I miss you. But maybe what I miss more is that not having the opportunity to learn something new anymore from you. Not when "we" are no longer the terms we use. We're just strangers who happened to have a slice memory together. I bet you forgot it.

R, this letter would never be sent to you. But writing this does make me much better. So thank you for your existential. Even it's just only your name now.

Regards,

Cee